Sunshine

        When I first met you, I was a free spirit, sure. I had these dreams that I believed were so much bigger than anything this small town could offer me. I wanted to stand out somehow, rebel in a way that others hadn’t yet discovered. I didn’t want to be forgotten, and my mind was running in circles, making me dizzy, making me want to stop and stare at the sky to try to find the meaning that was once so obvious before our lives decided to interweave. You give my spirit purpose, and you make me feel as if there’s more to me than the words that so clumsily spill out of my mouth or the impulsive choices I constantly partake in which always seem to land me in trouble.

      You always have this beautiful, unique, simple outlook on the world that I like to perceive as hope. You chose to hope that the love in hearts will shine through, and that the good in the mind of man will cure the most corrupted of perspectives and fix the world. You hope that one day the world will be safer, better, brighter, and for me, you having that hope is enough.

      You’ve always made me feel like I’m enough, for everything I am. When I’m at my worst, blinded with anger and rage, wanting justice for myself and wanting some peace at the end of a blurry violent storm, you make me see sense. You remind me that this world, this life, my life is worth it. You remind me that I have the power to chose how I wish to live, and that if I continue with anger, I won’t ever find jubilation in a town filled with opportunities and better paths to walk along.

    When I am at my best, smiling huge with pride of the morals I’ve managed to upkeep, feeling lighter with each step as if I am walking closer and closer to an eternal space of divine love and paradise, you’re there. I know you are, I can feel it. You share with my joy, always. You keep me balanced, and remind me that I’m worth more than the worst of my flaws or the moments of haze of poor decisions influenced by intense pain.

      When I feel as if the trivial things that should bring me happiness aren’t worth my memory or comment, you show me that they most certainly are. That I should be proud of the little things, and that I have support and allies along the way to help me reach all my dreams I can’t obtain in this small town. That’s why I wrote this for you. I wrote every word in this short, seemingly unimpressive story for you.

    It’s what I’ve always wanted to tell you, but my poor attempts at wording it have always got in the way. Without further ado, here is a memory, a story, a piece of my mind that was created because of you. You are my sunshine, my happiness, my light, and it’s a shame you’ll never know it. Maybe, somehow, by some miracle, you’ll understand what these scribbled, late night fits of words mean to you. Maybe some day you’ll accept my gratitude for the weight you help me carry throughout every day of my life. I’m so in love with you, this is my best at trying not to do an injustice to that feeling by putting it into words. 

~Sunshine~

      You were such a simple fool. A happy, naive, giant, bouncing puppy that soaked up every ounce of happiness there could be to find, then you extended it to all who surrounded you. You were so young, a mind so pure, one presumed touch from me would be enough to make it all come down to ruins.

       I knew from the start I would find some way to hold your light without it being darkened by my immense fits of startling storms. Ah, storms. Surely, you must keep those in the most forbidden place of your memory. Those storms were the beginning, the very start of the twisting tragedy that was our entwined fates. They’re what compelled me to make that first choice, the decision that changed us both for good. And to think, on that day all you heard was the annoying patter of a much familiar rain.

      When lightning burst in fits of color, I saw unattainable beauty, a force larger than life, bubbling regrets from the past, love gone wrong tales told by God in the boldest, most passionate of ways. Every color was a fear or a dash of hope; what pure irony it was how quickly they changed.  

       Then the thunder, hoof beats of horses bringing two young lovers to their new home. Unwinding clocks, simultaneous clapping hands for an unknown star from another unknown town. The water and wind made for a warning, “you shouldn’t dare leave your place of refuge, not yet, the timing is off. Light a candle, gather the youngest of kin and listen to the story. Listen to the retellings by angels of the past.”

      Every bang is a man who outstretched his hand and ended a war. When the sky darkens and the clouds fill the air with a bitter sense of isolation, in another life, the sun is there. I like to think the sun is with you, and the rest of the world is observing this astounding sight that was born out of the warmest of rays and the few stars that fell.

     When I was with you, these thoughts never burdened my mind with their constant desire for me to share them with pen. The imaginative aspects of every being on Earth were silenced, and the only present feeling was that of a still contentment.

     We were fond, as we each shared in the warmth of the others company, and for once in my life I was too happy to think. Not about our muddy rain boots silent disapproval in the corner, not about the open curtains casting creeping shadows along the wall, not about my thick, concerning cough or yours for that matter. We only laid on the ground, with the chilling air in our ears and the bliss of being united one last time.

    As the perfectly round drops of rain echoed against the tin roof, you breathed in and I did the same. The horses brought the two lovers home, the angels sang their harmonic ending notes, the clock struck the time we both desired the most, and the man who stopped the war started the journey to peace. The room was quiet, and a hazy sun sloped to greet our mutually blissful expressions. As it shone, and as our eyes met, I felt your light and I fell in love.

 

Thank you so much for reading 🙂 I’m very proud of what I wrote, and I hope the person I wrote this for understands how much they mean to me. Much love,  

-Katie

The Tree Taker

Welcome back to my blog! So, here I was, at the theater, trying to do algebra and stealing copious amounts of over salted popcorn, when I thought that my time would so much better be spent writing a bitter story about a boy that I used to know. When we were children, I always felt like he was someone to be treasured, that I was just a girl and he was a talent. He had this power in him that I never could be able to mimic . And it wasn’t until he left that I accepted that he wasn’t who I thought he was and that he left nothing but scars. This post is a mix of a short story and a poem. I wrote it in an hour or so,  it’s not that impressive, but I still wanted to share it. Thanks for reading and have a wonderfully relaxed Sunday. 

-Katie

Maybe you can’t see me. You’ve been blinded by the shiny spotlight that’s been so comfortably placed above your head all your life. The spotlight’s shining, your shining, and all of your adoring fans are standing by, waiting. They wait and they wait. Some want you to love them, befriend them, stand beside them. They stare and they watch, waiting. You don’t see them of course, you’re far above having something so trivial as fans. You’re so important, always on the move, smiling perfectly ready for pictures. You’re always ready for pictures, because the light is always perfect.

You’re always perfect. Or at least that’s what you lead me to believe.

Then again, that’s what we all believed. You never gave us a reason to doubt it. Every girl wanted to be with you, and every boy wanted to be you. Even all the mirrors wanted to hold your reflection, because you’re just so beautiful. On the outside, your teeth are flawless, your hair is in place, and you walk through these hallowed halls like a gust of wind moves through trees. You never stop, or look around, or move in an odd way. You never stay, you don’t have time. Probably on your way to a very critical date which you simply can’t miss.

Your wind keeps building, because as you move through the forest, you steal branches from the trees and many greens from the foliage. You become faster, larger than life, and all the greenery will gladly hand over what they have just to be acknowledged by your godly presence.

You got so big it was hard not to notice you. And I did, notice you. But winds never last, even the most powerful ones. Some other type of weather will eventually compete, and you’ll be gone. Though we don’t forget you, how could we? Someone so amazing as that, we consider ourselves lucky to be surrounded by such greatness.

We love wind, your winds, we need it. We adored and idolized this feeling you gave us, this sense of a special person who manipulated the world so that it would bend to be his own.

So when the wind ran through the forest, and all the trees were left bare, we were broken. We were all miserable without you.

But then the weather changed.

It was sunny and simple.

And it was then that we realized how much the flurry of your winds burned our skins, and left our scarves lost and scattered across the ground.

We couldn’t remember or focus on a moment because you destroyed our minds. What was real wasn’t as promising as the illusion that someday, somehow, you would want to stay. That one of the simple bare trees had a quality to offer you that would make you pause for a second and keep the forest roaring with breeze.

Though when the sun rose, and the air was still, we pictured who you really were, instead of the ideal memories that flickered through our eyes.

You weren’t gentle. You were terribly unkind.

You flew above all your friends, and left the weak behind.

You never used all that power for anything but pain.

You thought that you can lead us all and that we would worship at your feet because you tricked us and you lied, all to keep up the shallow charade of who we wanted to see.

Because we were all average, and were searching to be wanted and to feel like we had color in our dull and falling leaves.

But you took the same thing from all of us, and then left without a glance.

How foolish we were to think that we ever stood a chance.

You were violent and impulsive and treated us all like your servants.

But we still obliged, grateful to be used at your service.

When I think of you, I often wonder where you are now. Are you still ruining all the life in a less than average town?

Did you find something that made it worth your time to stay?

Or did you just keep on taking until you got your way?

Keep in mind, you held us all in your palm. Did you ever know how much you meant to everyone who you mindlessly passed? Did you ever stop and wonder about the countless trees you’ve killed? Did they cross your mind? If not, you’re so damn lucky, because for them, they can’t forget or fill their heads with someone new. Because the sun is fond and friendly, but it’s nothing compared to you.

 

Jane

Awhile back, I wrote this short story about a girl named Jane. It’s very twisted and seemingly Sci-Fy, but I always loved the idea that there is more to life than what we see. That other places, and times and worlds exist that we just can’t get to. Maybe that sounds crazy and maybe some things are best left as stories. That’s for you to decide. Without further ado, this is my story and I hope you enjoy 🙂 Much love,

-Katie

Jane

      There she was, standing on the edge of nothing, watching the Earth turn to light. There wasn’t a soul in sight, for everyone had fled to a different time. Everyone but Jane. See, she wanted to leave with the others, really she did, the problem was that she couldn’t. There’s always been a part of her that fought to stay on the old Earth.

     That’s the truth on how this all started. No big plan, or greater force, just one person who’s heart and head chose their loyalties for reasons unknown to all. Forever, Jane would be trapped between what was right and what was real. Blind faith. That’s not a whole lot to base your whole existence on, though Jane had far more critical issues. Like where she was going to go, how she would survive when all she ever knew was ripped away.

    Jane closed her eyes and for one moment, the chaos was audible. The howling wind and the whistle of the stars falling from the smokey overhead that used to be the sky, echoed throughout her brain.  With the cold air moving briskly against her skin and the blinding light of the scorched sun blazing in her eyes, Jane jumped. In that moment, that one choice, a new time was created. As she slipped away from all that was sure and just, nothing would ever be the same. Earth will soon fade to dust and life won’t carry on. Jane smiled and gave her goodbye, leaving infinity as only a memory

The Corrupted Queen

Thankfully, the girl who originally inspired this poem is well out of my life. Though, when I was still bitter about how our friendship ended, I vented it out in this poem. Maybe some of you can relate if you’ve ever had a toxic person in your life who loved to manipulate your feelings. That wound is long healed, though posting this poem may be a final way for me to let everything about her go. I’ve moved on, and don’t let this poem confuse that. Much love and I hope you enjoy,

-Katie

The Corrupted Queen~~

There once was a Queen who lost all she knew

Sounding familiar?

This victim is you

Once doted, admired, honored by all

How truthful it was that the mighty will fall

You helped all your people through toils and grief

If only they saw the serpent beneath

They saw you as their leader, they would worship at your feet

Though your intents were always manipulative

Your betrayls can’t be beat

Leaving all your morals broken, making you a cheat

You were their caring savior, but trust that you’re no God

For your palace was a prison and your comforts were a fraud

One morning a dark smoke came rolling into town

Your thoughts went to saving none that were around

All you ever needed was your riches and yourself

Concerning all who adored you as dust specs on the shelf

Though you’ve forgotten, you still have to lead

So you declared a hearing for all of those in need

Instead of facing the storm together, working to find another way

You decided to make all those faithful followers the ones that had to pay

Without hesitation, you made up your mind

Having your allies and friends do the dangerous find

No voices spoke, no one dared pick a fight

And with a wave of your hand, you sent them into the night

Ignoring their pleas, you sent them to war

Breaking a bond you could never restore

Final thoughts were spoken, they never broke gaze

The soldiers failed to help you correct your heartless ways

What you forced them into- it truly does amaze

That want and crave for pity, attention, praise and more

Is how you tricked them into fighting and made the bloodshed pour

The knights were too stunned to speak, left frozen where they stood

Assured that as their queen, this request was just and good

Many weeks had passed, none who left returned

Why does this surprise you?

You left them out to burn

Though image had importance, you had to keep up looks

So you chose to throw a banquet and overwork the cooks

There you stood tall, dining with friends

Continuing your shallow and weak works at amends

After that your greed was like a beanstalk, never pausing to grow

Abusing and robbing the townsfolk in more ways than they know

Now you still sit tall on a kingdom of ice

I guess all your pawns never truly sufficed

For here you still are, proud and alone

The bones of your friends make the height of your throne

Through all that companionship, you never felt bound

Simply adding more gems to the top of your crown

Not carefree forever, oh what did you do

That guilt has won the hunt and the hunted is you

Though your city has no barriers, you’re trapped inside your head

Replaying that viscous cycle of all the words you said

Because now the fight is over, the kingdom’s in its grave

You’ve finally reached the end of the selfish path you paved

Please take a look around you and remember what you’ve done

Their stories are much over, but yours has just begun

Your followers are forgotten, their tears have long been shed

You promised to protect them, but still they wound up dead

Though that was just a number on your endless list of lies

An honest friend and leader was your best disguise

At night the kingdom’s quiet, but nothing’s at it seems

You’re still kept and haunted by their never ending screams

But oh don’t forget, through it all you’re the Queen

Though that blood on your hands won’t ever come clean

 

Thank you for reading to the end! I know it was very lengthy and my punctuation could be better, but I hope you still enjoyed 🙂

 

 

 

 

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